Know What You Are Looking For in a Relationship

A happy couple under a tree
When you know what you are looking for in a relationship, your time and effort will be worth the investment.

People often go into relationships for the wrong reasons. Some go into it blindly, others just want to play games. Still, others are clueless about what they want when they enter this important milestone in their life.

However, if you’re someone who is serious and sincere in your search for love that lasts, take time to reflect on it before diving into one.

Ponder on what you are looking for in a relationship, your non-negotiables, wishes, and hopes. Determine your standards rather than settling for the first one that falls into your lap. This doesn’t mean to be rigid and closed but to make yourself open and ready when the right one comes along.

To best answer what you are looking for in a relationship, delve into these five points that touch on crucial parts of who you are, your life, and the way you relate with others. Answering these will help you determine what kind of partner you are looking for.

A person who knows what they are searching for will find it more easily rather than someone who has no clue at all. So what are you looking for in a relationship?

Answers to What You are Looking For in a Relationship

1. Values in Life

We all have different sets of values formed by our upbringing, culture, family, and personal experiences. Our values show what is important to us, what we deem good or desirable, may it be material or immaterial.

It’s important to be aware of your values since they affect practically every aspect of your life. Whether it’s valuing punctuality, self-expression, or community, these are fundamental in understanding who we are and in dealing with other people.

The values you carry are especially crucial in romantic relationships. The closeness and cooperation between a couple entails tapping on these values and sometimes, testing them.

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You might put great value on frank communication but your partner prefers giving time and space. Or you might be neat and tidy but that doesn’t matter much to them.

Our character and habits are often marked by our distinctive value system and we look for these values as well, knowingly or unknowingly, in our partners.

What values are important to you? What values do you want to see in your partner? What will you do if your values clash with your partners’?

These are important points to consider about your value system, to help clarify what you are looking for in a relationship.

2. Shared Beliefs and Principles

Another major aspect that can make or break a relationship is your personal beliefs. These are our assumptions or the way we understand life and the world.

We each have our own beliefs and principles that affect our personality, behavior, and decisions. Knowing the beliefs that you subscribe to is essential in ensuring a desirable relationship.

This may sound like an academic requirement rather than a necessary ingredient for romance but because it’s part of the foundation of every person, it becomes equally fundamental in relationships.

For example, if religion or tradition is vital to you, you will be making decisions around these factors. However, as a couple, partners make decisions together. If both of you don’t have similar beliefs and principles, it’s likely that you will have difficulties in agreeing on how to decide.

What are your non-negotiable beliefs? If they don’t coincide with those of your partner, are you willing to adjust to them? Are they also open to adjusting to you?

Beliefs are the bedrock from which we operate and relate. Answering what you are looking for in a relationship in terms of your beliefs and principles will help you get a more substantial image of your ideal partner.

A couple playing video games in the house
What are you looking for in a relationship partner? Whatever it is, it’s important to know the qualities you desire in a partner.

3. Common Interests

While interests do not seem as profound as values and beliefs, they nevertheless affect the dynamic and quality of a relationship.

Interests refer to your likes and dislikes, hobbies, social involvement, sports, and other preferences particular to you. It’s wonderful when you share similar interests with your partner. You can spend time together over something you’re both passionate about, creating a greater sense of closeness and satisfaction.

On the other hand, a difference in interest is normal and is far from being detrimental in a relationship. It is healthy to give each other independent time to enjoy and nurture your own interests. Sharing your differences can also be a good opportunity to get to know each other more and learn from each other’s knowledge and skills.

What are the interests that you want to enjoy with your partner? What interests are you open to learning from them?

Answering these questions will give you concrete ideas about what to look for in a partner.

4. Support for Personal Goals

As individuals, we have personal goals and dreams in life. Often, we’ve nurtured these dreams even before we get into any relationship. This is integral to who we are and should not be taken away from us.

Maybe you’ve been dreaming of becoming a doctor or playing as a professional athlete since you were young. You’ve invested in these goals, hoping to establish a career in the future.

A partner needs to understand this and support you in fulfilling these goals. However, sharing life with a partner will often affect your journey toward these goals.

You also need to be open to adjustments and compromises for the good of your relationship and your partner. Still, there are instances that would ask you to give something up for things to work out.

What are your personal goals and dreams? What do you ask from your partner as you strive to fulfill them? Are you willing to sacrifice these for the good of your relationship?

You will better see what are you looking for in a relationship partner if you are able to give light to these questions.

A man and a woman in the park
So what are you looking for in a relationship after considering these five aspects?

5. Common Direction

A relationship is a joint effort between two individuals. You must be able to walk side by side towards a common destination. It’s important to know where a relationship is headed and if you are both ready to go there.

You might think this is only applicable to a couple after a certain length of time but determining where you want to go will help you begin on the right foot.

If you are looking to get married, you might consider your situation in the long term and look for stability in the relationship. Building a family, the number of children, and where to live are some concerns you might have in your mind.

Where do you see your relationship headed? Do you find yourself spending the rest of your life with this person? Does your partner see your relationship going in the same direction as you do?

Reflecting on these questions will give you important answers to what you are looking for in a relationship.

If a person isn’t even serious about the relationship as you are, then you know not to waste your time dealing with them. But if they have the same desires as you, your relationship will have a clearer future.

When you can evaluate yourself in these five aspects, you can picture more clearly what you are looking for in a relationship. This will be helpful in weeding out improbable matches and investing in more realistic ones.

It might take you much effort to search for one that fits your standards. But in the end, you wouldn’t want to be entangled in the wrong kind of relationship while the right person could be waiting just around the corner.

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