Should a Man Help His Girlfriend Financially? It Depends.
Should a man help his girlfriend financially?
At some point in our lives, we’re bound to face money issues, whether big or small.
As empathetic beings, it’s normal to want to help when we see someone struggling financially. However, with various scams going around, we pick and choose whom to give to.
But what happens if your girlfriend asks for money?
This question holds more weight than deciding whether to give money to a stranger on the streets or a charity organization, as complex matters like love, trust, and practicality are involved.
In this case, does being her partner mean that you need to trust her with your money, or should you say no because you’re not sure whether she’s using you as a piggy bank?
The answer: It depends.
She may genuinely need financial help or she may be using her needs as an excuse to get money out of you. Not all women have the same motivations.
To help you decide, here are some considerations to keep in mind.
When to Say Yes to a Girlfriend Asking for Money
Why would a man give a woman money?
It financially makes more sense to help her out in finding a job, applying for a loan, or providing her with ideas on how to earn it.
However, there are cases where she insists on needing it as soon as possible. As a result, you’re likely to feel pressured, which often leads you to give a hasty “yes.”
In such situations, first consider the following aspects before agreeing.
She Has Justified Reasons
Sometimes, unexpected events happen where we suddenly need to spend a significant amount of money.
The same can be true for your girlfriend. If she asks you for financial help, ask her for the reasons why and discretely request for proof. She might be struggling to pay a medical bill, her rent, or to provide for her family.
She is Willing to Negotiate
It can be a financial burden on your part if she asks you for what is generally considered a large sum of money. So, even though you’re willing to help her, you can only provide her with a portion of what she needs.
In such situations, those who are genuinely in need are willing to accept your negotiated amount and are thankful regardless. This is because they can still use it as a down payment or attempt to borrow from others in their social circle.
She Expresses a Genuine Desire to Repay You
If you express a willingness to provide financial help, she must also be equally willing to discuss payment terms and conditions.
For instance, she needs to agree on a specific date for repayment, rather than using vague phrases like “I’ll pay you back as soon as I can,” since there’s no guarantee of how “soon” that might be.
Moreover, both of you need to reach an agreement on whether it’s acceptable for her to repay you in installments or if it should be paid in full.
This way, you ensure that the hard-earned money you’ve lent her will be returned to you over time.
She is Not Careless with Her Money
Before agreeing to lend any amount, consider whether your girlfriend spends too much money or not.
If she’s the type who is responsible with her money and is currently facing financial problems, support her with what you can.
In such cases, you can be confident that she’ll wisely spend the money you lent or direct it towards a good cause.
You Have the Capacity to Provide
How much would you spend to save your relationship?
If you’re dating a woman who is struggling financially, and you’re in a similar situation as well, only offer help when you can afford to do so without compromising your own needs.
Unless you are her husband, you are not obligated to provide financial assistance, especially if you’re unable to.
Instead, you can support her through other means, such as offering a place to stay if she can’t pay her rent or buying her meals.
When to Say No to a Girlfriend Asking for Money
As you think about when to say yes if your girlfriend asks for money, keep in mind that there are other aspects to consider for when to say no.
Consider the following signs of a freeloader girlfriend as you make your decision.
She Can’t Maintain Her Expensive Lifestyle
It’s okay to live a luxurious lifestyle, but only if you can afford it and have the means to sustain it.
Given this, if your girlfriend likes to spend her money on expensive items but constantly borrows from you, reconsider giving her more money when she asks.
You could essentially be falling victim to a romance scam.
She Lies to Keep Her Money
Did she just get paid yet claim she doesn’t have money to pay her bills? Or did she intentionally keep it a secret from you, but you see her spending lavishly on unnecessary items?
If so, she might be lying to borrow money from you to fund her lifestyle. This way, she can fulfill both her needs and wants, while you struggle to meet yours or your family’s.
Among the signs on this list, this particular behavior is one of the many financial red flags in a relationship, as it involves deception and manipulation.
She Does Not Respect Your Financial Help
When receiving help from someone, saying thanks is a way of showing respect for the time and effort they’ve spent on your behalf.
If your girlfriend hasn’t demonstrated any form of respect when you’ve covered expenses for her—whether it’s for minor things like dinner and transportation, or more substantial matters like rent or medication—you might want to think about saying no the next time she asks for money.
The fact that she’s unable to extend common courtesy means that she’s taking both you and your financial help for granted.
She Expects You to Financially Sustain Her
Some women may ask, “Should I expect my boyfriend to help me financially?” to which some will answer that they should.
However, as mentioned, you do not have an obligation to provide financial help as a boyfriend.
If your girlfriend expects and pressures you to, consider teaching her how to manage her finances rather than providing an immediate solution to her needs.
If she refuses, this is when you should start reconsidering your relationship, as this is another financial red flag that you should not ignore.
But you might be wondering, when should a man start giving a woman money?
Unless you are in a long-term, committed relationship or have laid out financial responsibilities for each other, you’re only required to provide for her if you’re married, as you now have shared resources and have committed to mutually financially supporting each other.
She Does Not Have Financial Goals
Having financial goals helps us secure a comfortable future, where we don’t have to worry about when our next meal will be or if we will have a place to stay tomorrow.
If your girlfriend lacks financial goals and relies on you to meet her needs and pursue her interests, consider refraining from providing her with financial help.
Instead, help her in creating a plan for how she can independently make ends meet.
Money Matters, Weigh Your Decision
Should a man help his girlfriend financially?
Finances are a private matter, which is why people pause and contemplate when others, even loved ones, ask for financial assistance.
If you’re currently in a similar situation with your girlfriend, consider the aspects mentioned here, such as your financial capacity, her financial situation and habits, and her purpose for the money.
While you might want to help her out of love, avoid making any hasty decisions for the sake of your well-being.
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