How to Trust Your Girlfriend

Guy showing how to trust your girlfriend
What’s the point of your relationship if you don’t know how to trust your girlfriend?

How do you love your girlfriend the best way you can if you don’t fully trust her? The thing about mistrust is that we don’t always have a rational reason for it, we just do.

It’s not necessarily her fault either. You could be dealing with baggage that is hindering your ability to love and trust. Been cheated on before? Or been through a rough breakup? That all factors into how you treat your future relationships.

There’s no instruction manual teaching you how to trust your girlfriend. However, there are basic rules you want to follow in building that trust. If you think she deserves more than you’re giving her, here are some no-nonsense pointers to help you establish that.

The Triggers: What Causes Trust Issues?

Before you learn how to trust your partner, you may want to ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you feel confident and secure about your relationship?

  • Do you have any suspicions about your partner?

  • Has your partner done anything to make you doubt their intentions?

If you find yourself having lengthy answers to these questions, you may have trust issues you’re unaware of.

You can’t give your trust if you’re having second thoughts about your current relationship. You should address whatever trust issues you have because they’ll only worsen if left alone.

Here are some common triggers behind trust issues:

1. Infidelity

Of all the triggers in this list, this may be the most popular one.

Maybe you don’t know how to trust your girlfriend more because of your scars from infidelity. Regardless of how your experience went, you still can’t shake the pain off you.

Recovery from the impact of infidelity may take a while. If you’re still nursing your wounds from a cheating incident, you may want to take time and heal. Don’t take your pain out on your partner and risk poisoning your relationship.

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2. Childhood

Formative childhood relationships greatly shape our beliefs. If you’ve witnessed and been involved in toxic relationships growing up, you may have a pessimistic view of trusting others.

3. Attachment styles

Everyone has an attachment style. For those unaware, it refers to your manner of relating to others. You can trace your attachment style back to your childhood. Think about how your caregivers raised you and how they influenced your current behaviors.

There are four primary attachment styles, namely: anxious, avoidant, fearful, and secure. If you have trust issues, you most likely have one (or more) of the first three styles.

4. Fear of rejection or abandonment

More often than not, people with trust issues fear rejection and abandonment. No matter how much your partner professes their love and loyalty to you, you still think they’ll leave you.

Carrying this emotional baggage makes learning how to trust your girlfriend difficult. The more you let your fears fester, your relationship may suffer the consequences.

Woman cozying up to her partner
Learn how to trust your girlfriend more by confronting your trust issues.

How to Stop Mistrusting Your Partner

Once you’ve fully acknowledged your trust issues, you should work on dispelling your mistrust. The cycle of mistrust isn’t something you want to be stuck in.

It begins with your doubts surrounding your partner’s trustworthiness and reliability. As your doubts grow, they become baseless suspicion, leading to anxiety and uneasiness.

These feelings can manifest physically, such as anger and increased heart rate. Your discomfort makes you afraid, stopping you from being an emotionally available partner.

And finally, once your fears come to a head, you put up emotional defenses and block other people out.

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Your fears may be valid, but here’s what you should remember: your partner isn’t the sole party behind your mistrust. You’re just as responsible for building a safe and secure environment in your relationship.

Break your mistrust by following these steps:

#1: Have an honest conversation with your partner.

Describe your honest feelings stemming from your mistrust. Avoid blaming or criticizing your partner because you’ll only be straying from your point.

Let’s say you don’t know how to trust your girlfriend when she goes out. Admit this truth so she won’t be caught off-guard.

#2: Listen to your partner without prejudice.

If you don’t know how to show your girlfriend you trust her, this step is a great start. Give her room to share her side and listen to her without interruptions. Her perspective may give you some insight and enlightenment.

#3: Practice accountability.

After you and your girlfriend have aired your concerns, both of you should have an honest assessment. Think about how you’ve individually contributed to the mistrust and own up to it.

#4: Give a sincere apology.

Once you’ve accepted your faults, make amends and apologize for your actions. Your apology should come from a genuine place.

Couple hanging out by a balcony
Knowing how to fully trust your girlfriend means apologizing for your mistrust.

If your girlfriend gives a heartfelt one, acknowledge and accept it without contempt.

#5: Work on building trustworthy dynamics.

This may be the last step, but the work doesn’t stop here. Eliminate the habits that cause your mistrust and practice open communication. This will take time, so be patient.

How to Fully Trust Your Girlfriend

Don’t wait for your relationship to become volatile to start working on your trust toward your girlfriend. Build a comforting environment through these timeless practices:

  1. Work on your vulnerability.

    Do you keep your feelings to yourself? If so, now’s a great time to break that habit.

    Don’t leave your girlfriend in the dark just because you don’t want to feel burdensome. Open up and be vulnerable. Inviting her into understanding her allows her to know how to help you better.

  2. Don’t assume the worst of your partner.

    Mistakes and disappointments are inevitable. When your partner makes them, don’t assume they’re intentional. Sometimes, they just happen and that’s okay. Don’t paint your girlfriend as a villain on a mission to break your heart.

  3. Learn to let your girlfriend take the lead.

    Do you find yourself leading the relationship often? If you want to learn how to trust your girlfriend, give things a refreshing change and let her take the wheel. This lets her know you value her thoughts and feelings and you have no plans on caging her with your relationship.

  4. Trust what your intuition tells you.

    If your gut tells you something, don’t brush it off. Pay attention and give it serious consideration. More often than not, it leads you to make the right decisions.

  5. Don’t hold back on communicating your needs.

    If you don’t know how to tell your girlfriend you trust her, this is a great time to start talking. Have you made your needs clear? Does your girlfriend even know what they are? She’s not a psychic, so give her a head’s up by airing them out.

We hope our tips will teach you how to trust your girlfriend. If you’re still single, you can use this entry as a reference for potential matches. There’s no harm in seeking extra knowledge on being a good partner.