How Does Empathy Most Likely Improve a Relationship?
A loving relationship hinges on the willingness and ability of a couple to love each other and work things out. Without this mutual cooperation, life together would be pointless, even miserable. This partnership will only be effective when they have empathy towards each other.
How does empathy most likely improve a relationship? Empathy is a work in progress. No couple is equipped with empathy the moment they fall in love. It is a habit that you unconsciously pick up as you try to get to know and love each other better.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It is more than just feeling sorry or happy for the situation of the other person. It is putting yourself in their shoes, feeling their emotions for yourself, and in this way, understanding them as they are.
Empathy entails a deeper level of acceptance, resulting in a more profound knowledge of the other. It is a disposition in which you are gradually formed the more you strive to deepen your relationship and work to overcome challenges together.
There are particular practices that can help to enhance empathic behaviors as a couple. If you want to improve your relationship, applying these tips will surely help you become more loving and empathizing with one another.
Empathetic Values in Practice
Be Vulnerable
The first thing about practicing empathy is to let your guard down because it requires entering into a heart-to-heart connection that deals with feelings, hurts, and hopes. Without vulnerability, which is one of the fundamental empathetic values, we cannot share these intimate parts of ourselves, keeping others from empathizing with us.
With strangers or acquaintances, it’s understandable to be reserved and cautious since they don’t know much about you and you wouldn’t expect them to have a special concern for you. But in a loving relationship, you have a partner who knows you well and with whom you share life’s ups and downs. Such a relationship calls for honesty and trust that disposes you to be vulnerable.
When you are able to feel safe in your own skin, your partner will also feel the same way. It is only in this context that empathy can be effective in a relationship.
Listen
One of the basic skills that we often fail at is listening. In general, we interchange conversation with talking, emphasizing the active aspect while disregarding the less obvious one, which is listening.
But in fact, talking is just one side of the coin, and our listening also needs to be active. We need to show we are listening through eye contact, attention, and affirming reactions to the one speaking. Active listening establishes an empathetic connection as much as speaking does.
When we listen, we give the other person value and respect. We are showing them that their emotions and thoughts are important to hear and are welcome in the relationship.
Listening is the door through which we come into the sacred ground of the other person’s heart. When someone is vulnerable enough to share their innermost feelings and thoughts, the only appropriate way to respond is to be quiet, attentive, and listen well.
Acknowledge Feelings
When you listen to a person’s heart, acknowledge them in what they just shared. Telling them, “I hear what you say,” or “I can understand how that would make you upset,” assures them that their emotions did not fall on deaf ears.
Feelings are not right or wrong, compared with your actions based on those feelings, which carry moral responsibility. Emotions come spontaneously as a response to the world and the person feeling them shouldn’t be made guilty.
Acknowledging another person’s feelings is not necessarily agreeing with them. It simply means that their emotions are valid and are not ignored. When we are empathetic toward another person, it shows that we understand where they are coming from and how they feel about their situation.
This acknowledgment is a form of empathetic love that may seem trivial but actually speaks volumes about how much you truly care.
Recognize Non-Verbal Cues
Other than just talking and listening, communication also consists of non-verbal cues. It is not enough to comprehend the language and listen to words. One must also pay attention to what a person is saying through their actions, facial expressions, and overall disposition.
This is why some couples can sense there is something wrong even before one of them speaks about it directly. Distracted eyes, jittery fingers, or drooped shoulders already reveal something important going on. How much you pay attention and understand these silent cues shows the level of concern and knowledge you have for the other person.
Empathic connection includes cultivating your sensitivity to these cues. Asking your partner about them in a gentle, non-judgmental way will enlighten you about your partner’s personality and behavior and help you assist them appropriately.
Paraphrase
A concrete way to show you have listened and comprehended what your partner has shared is by paraphrasing their statements and asking them for affirmation if you got it right. Practicing this helps you to focus on what they are saying and understand them as objectively as possible.
When you reflect back to your partner what they said, it also gives you an opportunity to clarify things that may have been misinterpreted or missed out. Take turns paraphrasing each other and you will nurture clearer and more effective communication.
Pay Attention to Triggers
Once you have developed these communication skills, you will be more aware of each others’ trigger points, helping you to avoid them when speaking with your partner.
For example, if your partner is triggered by shouting, you might want to double the effort in keeping your voice low when arguing. Or if you tend to be overly silent when you are going through some difficulties, encourage yourself to not be afraid to share it with your partner.
Taking note of these subtle factors will make a whole lot of difference to the quality of your communication and your relationship.
Empathetic Love Nurtures Intimacy
Empathy as a value in a relationship will go a long way in nurturing intimacy. When you can connect with each other at a deeper level, your understanding becomes stronger and more profound. This nurtures a greater and more loving intimacy between a couple.
You will know each other better, enjoy each other’s company more, and find greater fulfillment in your partnership.
However, be careful of misunderstanding empathy with too much compromise or unhealthy attachment. Though you are trying to understand and feel another person’s emotion, that doesn’t mean you are copying them to be your own.
You are still different people and it is important to keep your own individuality. If not, you might run the risk of co-dependency which will quickly make your relationship toxic.
Understand the other person but allow yourself to be your own person as well. You can do this by trying to identify your own feelings and thoughts before reflecting on your partners’.
Empathic Connection Helps Resolve Conflicts
Empathy proves to be crucial when a couple goes through conflicts. When you hit a wall, there’s no other way to continue but to face your partner and talk about the problem. Resolving conflicts highly depend on communication and the ability of the couple to empathize.
When we have empathy, we aim for communication to connect and not just for expression. Empathic connection strives to enter into each other’s worlds of feelings and values for the purpose of understanding and reconciliation.
You want to know where the other is coming from because you want to understand why they feel a certain way. And when you do, you become more compassionate and loving toward the other person. It is then easier to forgive and agree toward a resolution.
Without empathy, a couple might just be trapped in their egos. Fights would arise again and again without concrete resolution, eventually destroying the relationship.
These are some of the most essential answers to the question, “How does empathy most likely improve a relationship?” Empathy indeed is like a secret ingredient in any loving relationship. If you want to nurture peace and happiness, practice these empathetic values and you will find more love in your life together.
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